Canadians


hockey_in_july.jpgThat’s a lie. It’s actually just time consuming. So unless it’s your job, you kind of have to really want to write about something to make the effort. That would explain the long gap between posts. Well that and my new love for Kige Ramsey.

Anyway, I’ve almost written several posts but 1) I only kind of care enough about any of them to take the time and 2) Only one of the ideas lends itself to much humor. So, rather than start sounding like George Will, I punted. Really. Last night I worked on a puzzle while watching the All Star game. It’s pretty great, the second I’m done I just put it back into exactly the same state as when I started. My attempts to combat entropy are futile.

Universe 1 – Precious Roy 0

Here’s a list of what I almost wrote about (Or, alternatively, find out why I’ve got hockey in July for artwork): (more…)

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wes_01.jpg

Inspired by a Deadspin headline and a Deadon comment thread, this week’s odes to my fantasy team is in honor of the late Wesley Willis. (more…)

chipper.jpgNobody cares about your fantasy team.

Well, if you’re in a head-to-head league, the other guy you are playing might care. But even that isn’t lasting more than a week. Seriously, if you want to suck the lifeforce out of people just tell them how you dropped Chad Gaudin right before he became SP eligible so you could pick up Jason Hirsch on a 2-start week only to see him get pounded twice.

I am now a less interesting person simply for having written that sentence.

I am also guilty. I am obsessed with checking my teams’ scores as they update. I watch gamecasts to see if Micah Owings can pitch out of a 2-on 2-out jam. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a Micah Owings six weeks ago, or if I did, I probably thought it was some brand of cookware. These aren’t even actual games I am watching, they are just dots that appear on a web page that show where a pitch crossed the strike zone. I’m an Ecclesiastical fence-sitter (read: agnostic), yet I believe those dots to reveal something true about the world. It’s not healthy.

I want to talk about my fantasy players but I want to do it in a way such that I don’t lose my friends and don’t chase away potential girlfriends. So I will attempt to use the only idiom that will not engender hatred. (more…)