gamblor.jpgDo or do not do my ass… I’m only going to try. But every Friday for the rest of the season I’ll put up some college football picks. This was precipitated by my making a few picks the last couple of weeks and nailing almost all of them. Of course now that I’m on record, I’ll likely to start sucking. So you might want to start going the opposite way right out of the box.

This is totally unsophisticated analysis. Well, I do some cursory breakdown but won’t give you the handicapper’s spiel. So look… here’s a big lock. “Ooh, that’s a big lock.” Again, these are merely opinions offered up for entertainment purposes.

I don’t recommend you take my advice. I don’t even take my own advice because I don’t actually bet. So the winnings are purely fictional. That kind of blows because, as I alluded to, I have been kicking ass this year. But the losses are equally as fictional, which is nice because I would have lost everything I don’t have on Syracuse last week.

With that in mind, here are the picks:

Cal + 5.5 over Oregon.

I actually like Cal straight up. This should be a track meet and Cal has more speed. The over (72) is tempting but Vegas ain’t full of dummies. Well, not the people running the joint. That’s more than 10 TDs worth of over, and that’s a lot, but I like Cal.

Oklahoma -22 over Colorado.

Take the Sooners and take the over (56) because I think Oklahoma will get there by themselves. So the only worry is Colorado posting negative points. And that’s a legitimate worry.

Florida -18 over Auburn

South Florida is a trendy pick this year. Pick for what I have no idea. To finish ranked somewhere about 20th? Okay, great. So they went into Auburn and won. Auburn also turned it over some ridiculous number of times. Then Auburn lost at home to Miss State. So instead of people thinking “South Florida is pretty good” they should be thinking “Auburn is no good.” The non-South variety of Florida looks like one of the 5 best teams in the country about 80% of the time. And they are in the Swamp. That should be plenty to cover.

Caveat: this is actually the pick I feel most confident in. That’s always bad sign. Here, it means one of two things could happen: First, the Gators hold a 24 point lead late then give up a meaningless TD in the dying second. D’oh. Second, Auburn wins. I can see the latter if only because everytime I think I’ve known something about this college football season, I have been proven wrong the following Saturday.

Michigan -17 over Northwestern

God help if you like Big Ten football. Because if you like Big Ten football, you probably watch it. And if you watch Big Ten football, you need God’s help. Anyway, Northwestern sucks. And even though Michigan did lose to a 1-AA team, Northwestern, well, really sucks.

And I know I said bet against ND until they start playing the academies. I take that back, Purdue is favored by 22-23 depending. More than 3 TDs is a large number to give. Eventually all of those kids playing have to get better, don’t they?

[Ed Note: Sorry this is evolving on the fly. There is a response here. And a response to that reponse is here.]