Nobody cares about your fantasy team.
Well, if you’re in a head-to-head league, the other guy you are playing might care. But even that isn’t lasting more than a week. Seriously, if you want to suck the lifeforce out of people just tell them how you dropped Chad Gaudin right before he became SP eligible so you could pick up Jason Hirsch on a 2-start week only to see him get pounded twice.
I am now a less interesting person simply for having written that sentence.
I am also guilty. I am obsessed with checking my teams’ scores as they update. I watch gamecasts to see if Micah Owings can pitch out of a 2-on 2-out jam. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a Micah Owings six weeks ago, or if I did, I probably thought it was some brand of cookware. These aren’t even actual games I am watching, they are just dots that appear on a web page that show where a pitch crossed the strike zone. I’m an Ecclesiastical fence-sitter (read: agnostic), yet I believe those dots to reveal something true about the world. It’s not healthy.
I want to talk about my fantasy players but I want to do it in a way such that I don’t lose my friends and don’t chase away potential girlfriends. So I will attempt to use the only idiom that will not engender hatred. (more…)