kaplan_01.gifWell, now I can pretty much assure this this will happen weekly. If my friends are going to go out of their way to give me shit, then I will do likewise. And you can’t be much more antagonistic than starting a blog specifically for the purposes of taunting me.

But it’s funny. I even laughed out loud at the Tess of the Tuberville line.

My picks are in the post below. I won’t comment on his comments on my picks. That’s a little too meta and a little too ####. But he’s bong-rattling high if he thinks South Florida is going to cover.

USF (+7 1/2) over West Virginia (Disagree). He’s going with his gut. This is a guy who hasn’t exercised regularly since the Reagan administration. I’ll go with stats: The Bulls have exactly two wins of note in their entire history: This year at Auburn and last year at West Virginia (yeah, I just used two colons in the same sentence, what of it?). USF was the recipient of nine combined turnovers in those two games. The Mountaineers hold on to their balls, they win and probably cover.

Rutgers (-19) over Maryland (Push). Yep, like going double-blind nello, I’m calling for a straight push on the line. Why? Because I don’t fucking care about this game. I still don’t buy Rutgers, if the Irish had their schedule they’d be 4-0 instead of having people invent stats to laugh at how bad they are (and they are bad). Ray Rice, Schmay Rice. But Rutgers wins, by 19 even and Sunday morning I awake as some sort of diety.

Purdue (-22) over Notre Dame (Disagree). Let me quote Weis from this week’s presser. “Our kids are responding well, showing impro… Hey, you gonna eat that?” I made a rule in college to never bet on the Irish. I did it once. And I lost. The only upside was that I bet against us and we won the game straight up. Fortunately my picks on his picks don’t mean anything. So I’ll go with some blantant homerism and pick ND. I fully admit this is just wishful thinking.

I don’t give a poo about his pro pick. Betting the NFL is for suckers. If you really want to end up homeless, become a drunk instead. At least you’ll probably enjoy that slide in to ruin.