But damn if I’m not going to try.
And it’s only kind of indie but what it lacks in obscurity it more than makes up for in snobbery and cynical goodness.
What follows is the pre-season college football Top 25 (USA Today) if the teams were albums. It’s biased. It’s arbitrary. And it might not even make much sense. But some of them are still pretty accurate.
Counting them down (or actually counting them up) after the jump (And yes, that’s the wrong kind of football in the pic, but it’s a minor miracle I found indie rockers (CYHSY! and The National) doing anything even remotely athletic).
1) USC
The White Stripes “White Blood Cells”
Sure, everyone raves and they might really be that good, but I can’t fucking stand them.
2) LSU
Creeper Lagoon “Take Back the Universe and Give Me Yesterday”
Everything seems perfect right now. Really. But it’s only a matter of time until Ian Sefchik (Les Miles) ruins it all.
3) Florida
Pavement “Slanted and Enchanted”
Good. Almost too good for a debut. But if they follow it up with a “Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain” nobody will be able to say there was anything flukey about it.
4) Texas
The Clash “Cut the Crap”
Mick Jones (Vince Young) has left the band, and you still haven’t figured out that things will never again be as good as they once were.
5) Michigan
Buffalo Tom “Let Me Come Over”
You’re usually really good, start to finish. You’re just never going to be a big time headliner.
6) West Virginia
Cold War Kids “Robbers & Cowards”
Remind me again why we are talking about this.
7) Wisconsin
Built to Spill “There’s Nothing Wrong with Love”
I can’t explain this. It just seems to fit.
8) Oklahoma
Anything by Foo Fighters.
It’s never bad. And almost always better than it should be. Dave Grohl (Bob Stoops) can lose Pat Smear (Jason White) or Franz Stahl (Adrian Peterson) and there’s a Chris Shifflet (Alan Patrick) to step in and nobody loses a beat.
9) Virginia Tech
TV on the Radio “Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes”
Even with the unusual arrangements (read: peculiar over-reliance on special teams) I find this strangely appealing.
10) Ohio State
The Replacements “Don’t Tell a Soul”
“Tim” and “Let it Be” are already in your past. Worse, you’ve got an “All Shook Down” in your future.
11) Louisville
Dinosaur Jr. “Where You Been”
In a few years most people will forget not only that you were ever this good but that you had a shot to be great. [Cf. Soul Coughing (Kansas State)]
12) California
Elvis Costello “Blood & Chocolate”
People are always going to overlook you. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.
13) Georgia
The Flaming Lips “Clouds Taste Metallic”
If you’re a pessimist, you’re probably thinking there is a bizarre series of disasters in your short-term future. But cheer up, because after that, you’re due for “The Soft Bulletin.”
14) Auburn
Wolfmother s/t
I really gave this every chance possible, but I just can’t get excited about it.
15) Tennessee
Wolf & Cub “Vessels”
See: Wolfmother.
16) Rutgers
The Glands s/t
Just a one-off wonder?
17) UCLA
The Lemonheads “It’s a Shame About Ray”
They’ve been given a pass with mediocrity for far too long.
18) Penn State
The Rolling Stones “Some Girls”
Okay, it’s not indie, but Mick and Keith (Joe Paterno) really should have hung it up years ago.
19) Nebraska
Faith No More “The Real Thing”
They are bound to be more popular with Mike Patton (Callahan) but I will always believe that Chuck Mosely (Solich) deserved a longer tenure.
20) Arkansas
The Brian Jonestown Massacre “And This Is Our Music”
This isn’t going to end well, is it?
21) Florida State
Golden Smog “Weird Tales”
With all of that talent, shouldn’t this be much better?
22) TCU
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion “Now I Got Worry”
In a few years we will all look back and wonder why we ever thought this was any good.
23) Boise State
Radiohead “The Bends” OR The Killers “Sam’s Town”
The first: It might take awhile before everyone truly appreciates how totally awesome what you did really was. The latter: Given what you did last time out, people are bound to think this sucks by comparison.
24) Hawaii
The Polyphonic Spree “The Beginning Stages Of…”
Any moment now, people are going to stop looking at you as some kind of gimmick and just give in to the feel-good.
25) Texas A&M
Patti Smith “Horses”
People actually like this shit?
August 19, 2007 at 7:41 pm
there’s a pic of win butler from arcade fire playing basketball. unfortunately, those pics have been removed. however, i found some pics of tapes n’ tapes(why aren’t they on this list??) and cold war kids playing football.
http://gorillavsbear.blogspot.com/2006/06/inaugural-post-blog-rock-super-bowl.html
August 19, 2007 at 8:12 pm
i learned something from that gorilla, “spit if you see something you don’t like, like it up if you don’t like yourself…”
August 19, 2007 at 11:58 pm
[...] It’s a Bit of A Stretch To Make a Venn Diagram Where Indie Rock and College Football Overlap [image]But damn if I’m not going to try. And it’s only kind of indie but what it lacks in obscurity it more […] [...]
August 20, 2007 at 1:04 am
Since I’m from Kentucky, I have this question: Does this blog’s theory make the University of Kentucky — where we get our hopes up each season thinking this is FINALLY the year it’s going to happen — the equivalent of Guns n’ Roses much-delayed “Chinese Democracy”?
August 20, 2007 at 6:19 am
[...] Wow. I’ll have what he’s smoking. How ’bout our beloved Bruins reach the Holiday Bowl first? If pre-season college football Top 25 teams were indie rock albums: 17) UCLA The Lemonheads “It’s a Shame About Ray” They’ve been given a pass with mediocrity for [...]
August 20, 2007 at 11:30 am
[...] of endless knowledge, whose post comparing various indie rock bands to their college football counterparts leapfrogged to 12th place for the day. I also learned this bit of info from [...]